


Don't Pick at My Heart Strings

by orphan_account



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders-centric, Logan - Freeform, Logic | Logan Sanders-centric, M/M, analogical - Freeform, fanfic tropes, virgil - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-02
Updated: 2020-03-02
Packaged: 2021-02-22 22:09:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23001166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Virgil Reed can't believe he's just signed a contract with the biggest record label around, but what's even more unbelievable?The giant gay crush he developed on Logan Jackson, aka his best friend.Follow Virgil as he discovers his sound as an artist while simultaneously trying to figure out his love life.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders
Comments: 13
Kudos: 45





	Don't Pick at My Heart Strings

**Author's Note:**

> look who's back with more fanfic tropes! let's do multi-chaptered analogical enemies to friends to lovers famous Virgil song fic au!

_ All I knew _

_ This morning when I woke _

“Are you excited for your first day of school Virgil?”

“Yes mama!”

“Are you gonna make tons of friends?”

“Yes!” The five-year-old squeals excitedly, clutching his purple Jansport backpack in his hands. 

“Now, remember to be patient with the other kids, okay? They might not be as far ahead as you.”

“I promise to be nice, mama!” Virgil huffs, bouncing up and down on his toes and heels.

“Alright, alright,” Virgil’s mother grins as the bus pulls up to their house. “Have a good day, I love you.”

“I love you too mama!” The little boy shouts over his shoulder as he barrels up the bus stairs, searching for a seat. He grabs one by another boy who is playing with a small race car. 

“I love race cars!” He gasps happily, digging his own hot wheel car out of his backpack and challenging the other boy to a race. 

_ Is I know something now, know something now I didn't before _

“Can anyone tell me what five plus four is?” Virgil shoots his hand up into the air, leaning up out of his chair and onto the table to proudly display that he knows the answer. The other students who aren't raising their hands, and Virgil feels proud. His mama would be so excited that he knew something the other kids didn’t!

“Yes, Logan?” Or so Virgil thought. He whips his little head around to see who the teacher had called on, only to spot another boy with glasses and a tie. 

“Five plus four is nine,” the boy says in a quiet voice, pushing his black, square glasses up his face. 

“Very good!” The teacher exclaims as Virgil grumpily crosses his arms and sinks into his seat. And on the afternoon went, the two boys fighting to answer the teacher first, even disregarding raising their hands in favor of shouting out, earning them both some time-out chair minutes.

_ And all I've seen _

_ Since eighteen hours ago _

_ Is green eyes and freckles and your smile _

_ In the back of my mind making me feel like _

“Yeah, well I think your tie is stupid! Ties are for adults!” Virgil shouts at recess the next week, sticking his tongue out at his new arch-nemesis. 

“My tie is professional!” Logan exclaims, straightening it as he speaks the words. “What’s stupid is your purple hair!”

The two boys are pulled apart by teachers halfway through a shoving match.

When they’re sat in different corners for the rest of recess, Virgil tests his luck. With the teacher’s back turned, he throws a wadded up ball of paper at Logan, making a face at the other boy when he turns around. 

“Virgil! That’s it, I’m calling your mother!”

And so began a new enemy-ship. 

_ I just wanna know you better, know you better, know you better now _

_ I just wanna know you better, know you better, know you better now _

_ I just wanna know you better, know you better, know you better now _

_ I just wanna know you, know you, know you _

“This is stupid,” Virgil grumbles to his mother as she fixes his tie. “I don’t wanna stand next to him.”

“This award is a very high honor, V. I’m so proud of you for working so hard,” his mother says, ignoring his statement.

“Why do I have to share it with  _ him _ ?” He spits the last word in Logan’s direction, though the other boy pretends not to hear him.

“Virgil, you know the principal said they simply couldn’t choose between the two of you because you both achieved such high marks, and that’s still-”

“Yeah, mom I know but seriously? First the math award then the outstanding science award and now the Principal’s Association can’t make a choice between me and the asshole-”

“Virgil!”

“Sorry, sorry,” he mutters, hanging his head.

“C’mon honey, this is a wonderful achievement,” Viola Reed hums, gently placing her hand on her son’s shoulder. “How about we go get dinner afterward to celebrate?” Virgil peeks up at her from under the floppy haircut all fifth-grade boys are wearing that year. 

“Ernesto’s?” His mother laughs. “Of course honey. And I’ll give you money for the tokens this time, my treat.”   
“Okay!” The boy exclaims, nodding his head enthusiastically.

“Now c’mon, you’ve got an award to receive!” Viola grins as she ruffles his brown hair, much to his dismay.   
“Moooooom!” He huffs as he ducks away from her, running his hands through his hair in a desperate attempt to fix it. 

_ 'Cause all I know is we said hello _

_ And your eyes look like coming home _

_ All I know is a simple name _

_ And everything has changed _

And on and on the years went, Logan and Virgil head to head for every plaque, every certificate, every award. Ties, over and over and over again. They were the head nerds, and though they hadn’t resorted to physical violence since they were little kids, they could be found verbally sparring at almost every chance they got. 

_ All I know is, you held the door _

_ You'll be mine and I'll be yours _

_ All I know since yesterday, yeah _

_ Is everything has changed _

“Leave me alone!” Virgil shouts to the other kids, people he used to think were his friends. The laughter seems uproariously loud in his ears, like he can’t get away from it. He sprints down the hall, hands against his head as he throws open a random classroom door, searching for some solitude. 

An empty room greets him, and he sags against the door in relief, dropping to the floor and leaning his head against the cold concrete wall. 

The band room is perfectly quiet, a juxtaposition to its typical projection of middle schoolers playing instruments they didn’t know how to play as loudly as they possibly could.

_ And all my walls _

_ Stood tall painted blue _

Middle school is not being kind to Virgil, and Viola is worried about her son. Slipping grades, darker clothing, closed behavior. The boy she knew was no longer the person slipping through the door at four o’clock off the bus. He never spoke about his day at the dinner table anymore, and there weren’t friends sleeping over for three days at a time, blasting music and playing video games till all hours of the morning.

_ But I'll take 'em down, take 'em down _

Ariel Jackson’s son is getting better grades than ever before, but he eats dinner in his room now. His brothers joke with him and he alternates between snapping at them and going mute. She isn’t sure what to do to make Logan feel better, and she isn’t even sure he  _ is  _ feeling bad. Maybe it’s just teenage hormones?

_ and open up the door for you _

“Virgil?” The boy in question whips his head up from between his legs at the call of his name, furiously wiping the tears from his eyes.

“What the fuck do you want?” He grumbles at his nemesis, becoming increasingly irritated by Logan’s blank stare behind his square-framed glasses.

“Are you…” he clears his throat, awkwardly running a hand through his hair, “are you alright?” Virgil lets out a harsh laugh.   
“I feel like dying, no I am not ‘alright’, so please go back to your little lackeys and think of some other fun way to make my life hell, why don’t you?” He spits, turning his head away and expecting Logan to fight back. 

Instead, he feels a body sink down next to his, causing him to look back to the other boy in surprise.

“Jason and his… friends are not my lackeys,” Logan pushes his glasses up and clears his throat once more, looking anywhere but at Virgil.

“I thought they were your friends-”

“Keyword being ‘were’, they haven’t been nice to me since the sixth grade. Nobody- nobody has,” he mutters under his breath. 

There’s an awkward pause where Virgil feels he should say something, so he tries to come up with the words.

“What a pair we make, huh?” He offers, and when Logan huffs out a laugh, it feels like an olive branch.

_ And all I feel _

_ In my stomach, is butterflies _

_ The beautiful kind, making up for lost time _

_ Taking flight, making me feel like _

“What does the note say?”

“Don’t worry about it-“

“Virgil, the note, what does it say?” Logan grinds out. 

“I  _ said  _ just  _ forget it, Logan _ -“

“I wanna know what they said to you-“

“They called me a fag, okay? Are you happy now?” Virgil shouts, throwing the wadded up piece of paper in Logan’s face. 

“Oh, Virgil,” his friend says softly, and then they sink to the floor together. 

_ I just wanna know you better, know you better, know you better now _

_ I just wanna know you better, know you better, know you better now _

“Logan?”

“Yes?” Logan hums, not glancing up from his homework. 

“... I’m gay.”

A pause. 

“I believe the term I’m looking for is ‘same’?”

“Wait, what?” Virgil exclaims, and Logan puts down his pen to meet his friend’s eyes.

“That is the term that one uses when they want to express that they feel similarly, yes?” He says, sounding more hesitant than before.

“Are you… are you saying you’re gay, too?”

“... yes?” They stare at each other for a long moment.

“You dork,” Virgil snorts, throwing a pillow at his face and causing the other boy to laugh.

_ I just wanna know you better, know you better, know you better now _

_ I just wanna know you, know you, know you _

“Do you wanna come over? It’s pizza night and-”

“My mother would like to get to know you. She says it is alright with her if you spend the hours from four to eight with us tomorrow night for dinner-”

Viola Reed and Ariel Jackson share smiles at PTA meetings. 

_ 'Cause all I know is we said hello _

_ And your eyes look like coming home _

“You should join the debate team.”

“And be a nerd like you? I’ll pass-”

“Piss off,” Logan mutters, and Virgil fights back a smile. “The first practice is Monday at three. I told your mom you can catch a ride home with me. Don’t be late.”

_ All I know is a simple name _

_ And everything has changed _

“Okay,” Logan announces one day as he sets his tray down at their shared lunch table. “What’s with the notebooks?”

“Nothing, it’s- nothing.”   
“Virgil-” Logan starts, only to be cut off by the other boy.

“They’re songs, okay?” A pause. “I’ve been … I’ve been writing some music lately because we have that old piano, and- and my mom found that old guitar at that yard sale so I’ve been… writing. My therapist says it’s a good outlet.”   
“Oh,” Logan says, and Virgil waits for the questions. “Well, good,” is all his friend says before digging into whatever mystery meat they slopped onto his plate in the cafeteria line. 

_ All I know is you held the door _

_ And you'll be mine and I'll be yours _

_ All I know since yesterday, yeah _

_ Is everything has changed _

“L?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you wanna hear a song?”

“... I would be honored, Virgil.”

_ Come back and tell me why _

_ I'm feelin' like I've missed you all this time _

Virgil and Logan clutch hands tightly, their matching polo shirts in an ugly maroon scratching at their skin as they await the final results. 

“And the winner of the National Debate Championship is… Tallwood High!”

Grinning, screaming, celebrating.

An inkling in the back of Virgil’s mind as he hugs his best friend, an itch that reminds him of something far away and yet too close to touch.

_ And meet me there tonight _

_ And let me know that it's not all in my mind _

“They turned me down. Again.”   
“Your music is amazing Virgil, you just have to trust in that.”   
“...thanks L.”

_ I just wanna know you better, know you better, know you better now _

“C’mon, let’s sneak away! Just for a few hours, even I know you’d rather see the National History Museum than some musical-”

“Virgil, this is our senior trip, there are guidelines, there are  _ rules- _ ”   
“Rules schmules, we’ll just say we got lost so we returned to the hotel, and we won’t tell anyone about the museum!”   
“...fine. But if we get in trouble I’m blaming you, you heathen.”

“Whatever you say, L.”

_ I just wanna know you, know you, know you _

The museum is pretty interesting, or so Virgil guesses. 

He hasn’t really been paying attention to anything but Logan. How his friend’s face looks under the bright lighting, his eyes sparkling as he recites facts and reads plaques about different historical happenings. 

_ All I know is we said hello _

_ Your eyes look like coming home _

Virgil still shares his purple songbook with Logan, still plays the music from it for his best friend, smiling and sharing and happy.

But he hides the dark blue songbook under his bed, and doesn’t let Logan catch a glimpse of it. Ever.

_ All I know is a simple name _

_ And everything has changed _

Love song after love song, all written about his best friend. Virgil can’t help it, Logan is just … Logan. Smart, and funny, and beautiful. 

And so close but so far away that it physically hurts Virgil to look at him sometimes. 

_ All I know is you held the door _

_ You'll be mine and I'll be yours _

Virgil suffers in silence, and thanks whatever deity that’s listening for Logan. Thanks his lucky stars that Logan hangs around him, even with all the anxiety. Thanks his best friend, in the ways he can. Special pens, new notebooks, color-coded planners, sticky-note doodles. 

Logan is the best friend anyone could ever have, and Virgil considers himself the luckiest bastard in the world to be his friend. Romantic feelings that ache be damned, Virgil would not let those stupid things ruin his friendship. 

_ All I know since yesterday, yeah _

_ Is everything has changed _

“Deep breaths, Virgil,” Logan’s voice crackles over the phone as Virgil stands in the waiting room, guitar case slung over his shoulder.

“This is it, L, this is the last record label I could think of, if I screw this up I’m done, I’ll never be anything-”

“You will do wonderfully, Virgil,” Logan’s voice softens. “I believe in you.”

_ All I know is we said hello _

_ So dust off your highest hopes _

_ All I know is pouring rain _

_ And everything has changed _

Virgil strums the last chord, having mostly blacked out during the performance for the tiny audience of record label executives. 

It’s the first time he’s shared a song from the blue songbook with anybody but his mom. Every other audition had gone terribly, as Virgil had become too overgrown with anxiety to even strum anything, let alone sing. 

So his mom had suggested the little blue book. 

And it felt like Logan was sitting in the room with him, telling him when to breathe, when to sing, when to switch chords. He pours every ounce of love he feels for Logan Jackson into the song.

_ All I know is a new found grace _

“Just sign on the dotted line, Mr. Reed.”

Virgil glances at his mother, who’s recording the moment on her phone with a huge grin.

And then at Logan, still wearing that blue tie he gave him for graduation, two months after Virgil realized he was in love with his best friend.

_ All my days, I'll know your face _

He practiced his signature for this very moment, and he thinks his name looks pretty cool in cursive. 

_ All I know since yesterday, yeah _

“I knew you could do it Virgil,” Logan says, and his eyes sparkle. 

_ Fuck,  _ Virgil thinks as he hugs his best friend. 

_ Is everything has changed _

**Author's Note:**

> if you're finding me from my other works, thank you so much!! if you're finding me for the first time, thank you!! I love all of ya'll, so please feel free to talk to me in the comments or on my tumblr at hickory-dickory-doc-k ! this chapter's song is Everything has Changed by Taylor Swift, though the artist and genre of 'Virgil's' music will change as we move through the story


End file.
